Michael Loderstedt

THINGS I KNOW ABOUT MY FATHER

He was a German
when Germans were not loved here.
A German soldier, no less
who could have killed or been killed
just years before.

Mother said after the war they opened
the gates to his British POW camp
everyone just walked
home.

Gunther plodded busted roads
from the Baltic Sea to Berlin.
Some American GIs gave him
a ride,
some smokes,
and that is why he chose
this country. 

            Louis Armstrong singing
            Mack the Knife on the console
            stereo, my mother dancing
            and smoking cigarettes.

My father was a doctor
not a truck driver
not a traveling shoe salesman
not a jazz musician
not a derelict.
An obstetrician
who brought babies into this world.
He helped bring us too, but you
might never know that.  

            A woman once ran up to our
            house, a near-blue infant in her arms
            calling for help.
            My father pulled a tiny red toy
            dump truck from his throat
            with long steel forceps.
            The woman cried, her baby
            screamed for air.
            He was a hero.

When my mother left
and moved us to the island
my father never called
or visited, ever. Our letters
unanswered, or worse
mealy excuses that he
was too busy,
too broke.

             Riding the school bus
            across the bridge, low tide
            smell of marsh mud, older kids sitting
            behind my brother, sister
            and me, thumping our ears
            blood-red singing, you ain’t got
            no daddy.

An undiscovered obituary dated January 27, 2014
Pulaski, Virginia–– no mention of another
family. I had visited my father some years
before, while in art school. I brought
him a print as a gift. He took it
to a frame shop, they framed it
in gold. I remember feeling
something akin
to pride.

Michael Loderstedt is Professor Emeritus of Kent State University where he taught printmaking and photography. He continues to explore new studio and writing projects that investigate the geography, histories or the natural phenomena of place. His recent manuscript entitled The Yellowhammer’s Cross received a 2020 Ohio Arts Council Fellowship in Non-Fiction Literature, his recent work has been published in Neighborhood Voices, Muleskinner Journal, and the NC Literary Review (receiving the 2021 James Applewhite Prize for Poetry). You can follow his projects on Instagram @m_loderstedt.